You turn the machine’s dial until it points to “cold.” All you can do now is sit back and see what happens. You’re hoping to freeze everybody in a giant block of ice. Then, perhaps you could sell everyone to a race of carnivorous aliens as delicious frozen treats.

* * *

While the planet does enter into a new ice age, it is not quite cold enough to instantly freeze everyone. Many die, due to lack of food, but the majority manage to survive. Eventually, the human race evolves to better cope with the cold. So now, not only did you fail to kill everyone, but you’re also the reason that everyone is really hairy, and that’s just gross.

Try again, Loser!