“Goddammit I hate you Mr. Schlotzski!” you shout, kicking the tombstone. Then you begin jumping up and down on his plot, all the time going red in the face. Just as you drop your pants to deliver the ultimate humiliation, a police officer happens to walk by. After being tasered and soiling yourself, you are taken into custody. But don’t worry. You’ll get out with good behavior in only five more years.

Try again, Loser!