You realize that the one person you want to kill more than anyone else is the hero, Lovemonger. Far too long has he spoiled your plans for world takeover. And the way he gads about, spreading peace and joy and good cheer? Eugh. No. He needs to die. Horribly and painfully. But first, you need to get him over here.

As you attempt to come up with a plan to lure Lovemonger to his doom, the phone rings. You answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hey guy, this is Lovemonger. I was just thinking, we haven’t hung out for such a long time. I just baked some cookies, and I was going to bring them over to you, ‘cause you’re my bestest friend. Then maybe we can make cute necklaces out of freshly picked flowers, ‘kay?”

“Uh…”

“All right, see you in a few. Tootles.”

You hang up the phone, dumbfounded by what just occurred. It’s a good thing he’s so stupid. He’ll be so unbelievably easy to kill.

A short time later, there is a knock on the door. Lovemonger walks in holding a plate of cookies.

“Hey guy, want some cookies?”

“No, I don’t want any cookies,” you say. “I’ve invited you here so that I can kill you.”

A look of shock and horror contorts his features. “What are you going to do to me?”

• Do you feed him to your sharks?
• Do you shoot him?
• Do you feed him to your gun-toting sharks?