Why go through all that trouble when you could be done with everything in only one short trip? You set the time machine for 20 years into the future and sit back as it whisks you away to a different time. When your journey is through, you find yourself still in your fortress. However, something feels different. Everything is brighter, and the sense of impending doom that usually emanates from every room has vanished.

You walk down the hall and enter what was formerly your torture chamber. It appears as though it’s been converted into a kitchen. A young woman sits at the table eating breakfast.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” you ask her.

She looks over at you. “I’m Jennifer Winworth,” the young woman says. “The guy who used to own this place disappeared 20 years ago. I moved in just last week. Who are you?”

“I’m the guy who used to own this place,” you say.

“Oh,” she says. “Would you like some toast?”

“Toast!” you exclaim. “I love toast!”

All thoughts of world takeover exit your mind at the thought of sinking your teeth into some delicious toast. World domination can wait. You’re now in the house with a beautiful woman who wishes to provide you with toast. Yes sir, life couldn’t get any better than that.

Try again, Loser!