You and General Murch travel through the wasteland, following the directions given to you by your spies. Upon reaching the cave, you both enter and make your way. Your search takes several hours, but after reaching the cave’s rear wall, you determine that the Talisman isn’t there.

“What’s going on?” General Murch asks you. “I thought the artifact was supposed to be here.”

You hear laughter behind you and quickly spin around. Standing there is Captain Awesome, and he’s pointing a gun at you.

“I knew you’d fall for it,” he says. “Your spies have been deceived. The Talisman was never here. I set you up, and now, I intend to end your scheming once and for all. The people of the desert will live in fear no more.”

Suddenly, General Murch springs forward. Captain Awesome turns his weapon toward him and fires. General Murch immediately falls forward, stiff and unmoving.

“What did you do to him?” you shout.

“Do you like it?” laughs Captain Awesome. “It’s my own invention. It disrupts electrical circuitry. Your friend there is in need of a lot of repairs.”

“If it only affects circuitry, then it can’t harm me,” you say, advancing on Captain Awesome.

“No,” he says, “but this can.” Captain Awesome quickly pulls out a pistol and pulls the trigger.

The second to last thing that passes through your mind is whether or not there’s an afterlife, and how difficult it will be to conquer it. The last thing that passes through your mind is the bullet.

Try again, Loser.